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Apr. 28th, 2004 03:02 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
anotherusedpage The Student Loan Form Drinking Game
One sip every time they ask for your name
(Two if you manage to spell it wrong)
One sip every time they ask for your address
One sip every time they ask for today's date
One sip every time they ask for your date of birth
One sip every time they ask you for a piece of information that you've already given them ten seconds ago
One sip every time they ask you for a number that they allocated you in the first place and that you have to look up on bits of paper that they've just sent you, eg student support number, art id number, UCAS number etc etc etc
Two sips if they ask you for a number which they ought to have sent you but you can't find anywhere on the bits of paper they've sent you and so could just be a typo for another of the random numbers
One sip every time you feel like screaming I AM NOT A NUMBER
One sip every time they ask you a personal and completely irrelevent question eg 'Do you wear glasses?' (???)
One sip every time they say 'write in block capitals' and you fail to notice
One sip every time it doesn't tell you whether or not you actually need to fill in a question
One sip every time you can't work out what the question's about at all
At least two sips every time you have the slightly snobbish thought 'But I'm an Oxford English student and even I can't sodding work out what I'm supposed to be doing with this'
And finally, down your drink when you get to the typo that says that everyone in the UK, or at least certainly everyone in North London, is going to be repeating their first term three times next year.
This will ensure that you finish filling in your student loan form in a thoroughly cheerful and happy drunken state, as opposed to the complete and utter frustration which the form is supposed to create.
One sip every time they ask for your name
(Two if you manage to spell it wrong)
One sip every time they ask for your address
One sip every time they ask for today's date
One sip every time they ask for your date of birth
One sip every time they ask you for a piece of information that you've already given them ten seconds ago
One sip every time they ask you for a number that they allocated you in the first place and that you have to look up on bits of paper that they've just sent you, eg student support number, art id number, UCAS number etc etc etc
Two sips if they ask you for a number which they ought to have sent you but you can't find anywhere on the bits of paper they've sent you and so could just be a typo for another of the random numbers
One sip every time you feel like screaming I AM NOT A NUMBER
One sip every time they ask you a personal and completely irrelevent question eg 'Do you wear glasses?' (???)
One sip every time they say 'write in block capitals' and you fail to notice
One sip every time it doesn't tell you whether or not you actually need to fill in a question
One sip every time you can't work out what the question's about at all
At least two sips every time you have the slightly snobbish thought 'But I'm an Oxford English student and even I can't sodding work out what I'm supposed to be doing with this'
And finally, down your drink when you get to the typo that says that everyone in the UK, or at least certainly everyone in North London, is going to be repeating their first term three times next year.
This will ensure that you finish filling in your student loan form in a thoroughly cheerful and happy drunken state, as opposed to the complete and utter frustration which the form is supposed to create.