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I've been not with the posting much recently. This is mostly because I've had nothing very much to say that wasn't whinging / being depressed / existential angst / other general fun and games. And not even INTERESTING whinging.
My gran's ill in hospital. Dying. Slowly and painfully. New Year's Day we took her in to casulty. And were there with her on a trolly til two in the morning. And since then, they've been bullying her, abandoning her without her breathing aparatus, not providing her with any food she can actually eat, telling her she's mallingering, telling her she'd be better off dead... So someone has to be with her the whole time, cos we don't trust the hospital to give her the medication she needs and stuff. Bloody NHS. It's not usually this bad, but... I think there's actually been something in the press recently about how old people are taking up more hospital beds than they ought to and the hospital's got a quota to meet or something. Because they keep trying to either send her home in a right state or kill her off. I'm only exagerating a very little bit.
Which means I've spent hours in the hospital, and hours more babysitting my brother, sister and autistic-spectrum cousin. And not getting my uni work done.
And it's depressing me like hell. In a actually, what is the point of all of this? kind of a way.
So. Not much posting. Because none of you need to know any of that really.
And Rosie's gone back to Carlisle.
So. Yeah. You know the saying if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all? I'll post again... probably when I'm back at college, and when I'm in a slightly better mood.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I am so sorry. *hugs*

'nk you. *hugs right back*

I'm really sorry. It's depressing that they have quotas for things like that. Probably the last thing on your mind right now, but since university is understandably the least of your priorities you could request extensions on the grounds of family bereavement. And don't feel bad about posting this. You have every right to be upset.

Feeling a whole lot better about the whole thing, currently. Not quite sure why (or how long it will last), but partly because I sat down and thought about my work and registered that I have enough basic background just from general reading to bluff my way through the first four essays of term or so. Trouble with Oxford is it's actually really REALLY hard to get extensions granted cos the terms are so short. It's not essays due immediately when I get back, it's January exams. And failing them ain't the end of the world, and...
And that's partly why I was getting so upset was that I just COULDN'T get my priorities sorted and I was going round in circles with the family are more important than exams but exams are going to affect my future but family are more important than exams.... and they can both be important.

Don't you just hate hospitals, non stop? I mean, it's great they're there, but sometimes, you wonder if they even have any idea of the responsibility they have...

I'm so very sorry. *hugs* I'm sure your uni will understand when you explain it to them. They've got to have special rules for these sort of occasions...

Hospitals do truly suck. Like you said, it's a good thing they're there because without them we'd be even more screwed. But...
And yeah. Thanks for the hugs, and my uni ought to be ok I do know that really.

... aw, love. AND you had to look after Lev. I presume that was Lev. At least, even if the work might be a bit of a struggle, you'll have a good reason not to be around after next week.
Love you,
R

PS. No pressure or anything, sweetie, but FIND YOUR PHONE!